COVID stories

Payton C Miller

Written in January 2021

Payton C Miller

The New Year hit, it was to be 2020, everyone was happily celebrating with their loved ones. Unlike everyone else, on the night of New Year’s Eve, I would toss and turn all night, unable to sleep, feeling quite restless and fed up for reasons I didn’t quite know.

It was the third of January after a long duration of time working in the same low respecting job, I finally gave in my notice. Some time after, I eventually broke up with my boyfriend. There would be something coming that would change the course of my life as it would everyone else’s!!

In March 2020, the world would have full knowledge of just how serious this new virus was, it was named COVID-19 and originated apparently from China. I never in my life would have imagined that the world would ever be in the condition it is now. They do say though, that it is only to get worse. I don’t know if I could handle that, could you?

It is a very strange time, between sanitizer and toilet rolls, waiting in queues to get into your local supermarkets and wearing masks that make you look like you’re a surgeon in a hospital. All of it seemed so strange to me. It should be some kind of movie plot!

The one thing I’d say is lovely about COVID-19 is the appreciation you have for your loved ones, checking in to make sure they’re Okay. For me, COVID has brought a lot of thinking! The regrets and mistakes, pros and cons of life, love, what mattered, who was there and who wasn’t. So many questions, no answers. Like being trapped in some sort of maze.

Some days I wake up and wonder, wonder if it will ever be over, wonder if it’s even been real or just a very long dream. Watching the news and seeing the changes that COVID-19 has made to not only my life, but everyone else’s is shocking. People losing their loved ones, losing their jobs, the economy failing, suicide increasing, mental health worse than its ever been! Also, having limited numbers in how many people can attend shops, weddings, funerals. Cinemas closing, businesses going into liquidation. If this ever goes away, it would definitely leave its mark, the damage it has done. To think, in years to come when I’m older, this would be a story for the grandchildren.

I thank God that I wasn’t around at the time of the plague, that must have been a lot worse than this. They didn’t have the equipment or the medicine that we do now, they didn’t have the money, they couldn’t even keep in touch with their families. At least we have social media and facetime – Thank God!!

I used to roll my eyes when I would be asked if I wanted to go to the supermarket, now I jump at the chance! Only it isn’t as easy as it used to be.

The thing I miss most is the normality, the simple pleasures in life that we once didn’t appreciate. It is lonely, sometimes, not being able to go out the front door and see your friends, not being able to go to a restaurant or just going anywhere. Now it’s all masks and sanitizers! I frown upon the people who look at this virus like it’s a joke. Who have had covid and do not take it seriously because they’re OK. Their disrespect towards the rules and the restrictions.

I have so many questions. What is COVID-19? Will these vaccines work? Will this ever go away? The list truly goes on.

In this time though, I must remain hopeful, I must remain patient. I feel for Nicola Sturgeon, she has to deal with every decision to make sure Scotland is safe. I think if we co-operate a little longer we could get back to normality.

I am lonely, I am worried. Everytime I see someone I wonder where have they been? Am I going to be OK in the next few days? I know I am not the only person to feel this way. I just wish more people were the same though.

What COVID has taught me so far is that I can’t rely on anyone else but me. Also, I’d be lost without my family.

The highlight of 2020 was the arrival of my beautiful nephew. It is because of him, COVID-19, if I can help it, won’t be coming near my door! He is the most important part of my life! His safety, as well as my family, is everything to me.

The future is unpredictable, the present is a weekly mystery. What remains is having the faith that everything will get better. My heart is with all of those who have lost loved ones to this horrible virus.

The thing I’d say, we all need to remember though, is that we won’t be beaten! This will get better! If we keep thinking positive and doing what we are meant to, I know we will be all right! This will go down in history! There possibly will be books and films made about this and I want to be around to see all this happen! I want COVID-19 to be COVID-NoMore. It’s all about time and patience!

I know this will get better so until then I will keep wearing my blue mask, washing my hands and waiting for all of this to be over!

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